Sleepless Nights

music makes the world go round?

Okay. So i can't sleep. Bad news.

Heres the thing. its the 30th March, its 12:37am, wake up time: 8am, agenda: meeting at church, and sweaty rehersals for ex school's 10th anniversay.

If i could 'pun' the anniversary is a worthy adversary.

Okay, fine, its late and im not thinking right.

Was just looking through some of my friend's blogs and i realise that everyone has grown up! (tear, tear) . well sort of. Some, ex classmates. Others old friends. Some are even family. There are also the current friends and the friends with whom my relationship with has become unknown for some reason.

Then i realise, friendships are so fickle. They can be strong at one point, yet break at signs of hardships or changes in situations. I guess 'Ships' are not exactly the most stable thing around. They follow the tides and the waves. They rock back and forth in a storm, and ride peacefully in the calm. But what exactly keeps friends together for so long, through thick and thin, through all times. The bonds, the time spent together, the relations.

Maybe thats why my closer friends are within my youth. Some old friends whom i could'nt bear to leave just 3 to 4 years ago have slipped from my priorities, and our communications have become limited to msn, with a casual, 'Hi' and 'Bye' and the common 'How have you been?'

But even then, i guess on my part, im not really good at 'catching up' or 'keeping in touch'. Its almost as if i've become the wind over the past few years. An occasional breeze and a rare wind storm.

Could my past disappointments be the reason for me to create a barrier between myself and others? Is the 'Me' that i show others the actual 'Me' that i am?

Maybe im getting way ahead of myself.

Okay! i'm finally feeling sleepy!

i could just be thinking too much...